The crew of the Angel Flame received orders to head out.
Going about their preparations, nobody would have known Captain Smith’s mind was elsewhere and first mate Tina Goodrow had had another sleepless night.
Goodrow should have called in sick. She might have lost her position if she did, though, and she liked working with Smith. He treated her like a colleague, not a woman.
Smith mulled over the recurring argument he’d had with his wife. He was fond of his first mate, yes. But not in the way his wife had suggested. Tina was one of the guys.
Neither of them noticed the warning light indicating the oxygen generator malfunctioned.
***
Today’s Story A Day writing prompt is Third Person Omniscient. I thought it might work with this week’s Mondays Finish the Story picture and opening sentence, even though having an omniscient narrator in 100 words is a wee bit bonkers. All MFtS stories can be found here.
Not a good ending, I’m guessing. I got a strong sense of the characters. Well done 😀
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No, probably not a good ending… I had no more room to play with, otherwise I might have been more specific. Thank you!
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Nicely done Sonya! They were so caught up with their personal issues that they clearly were not paying attention to what they were doing! Be well and thanks for writing again for the MFtS challenge! ^..^
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Thank you! And yes, that was the idea – glad it came across 🙂
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Well done! 🙂
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Nice! You’re right, the word limit must have made this one super tough. I’m not even sure I’m going to attempt it yet, but it’s great to see that someone else has managed it well!
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Thank you, Laura! I think Julie is right, it is almost impossible not to sound like a Dickens imitator when writing 3rd person omniscient… I like the idea of a futuristic story told from that PoV, though.
Well, fingers crossed for yours. Trying it can’t hurt, right?
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Both of them should have called in sick 🙂 I really enjoyed this piece from you!
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Yes, they should have… Thank you 🙂
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Guess they’ll be together now.
Unless, they’re so good at their job, they can recover.
We’ll never know. ;0(
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Honestly, I don’t know if they’ll make it or not. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Oh no. Not sounding good for them. I hope they can find a way to get out safe and if not at least make their peace first. Great little story Sonya.
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Thank you, Anne 🙂
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I feel like the wife deserves the blame for everything. This was a brilliant plot, Sonya! Loved it
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Clearly shows how distractions can take over our minds and we forget the important things. Great story!
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Indeed… Thank you, PJ!
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OOP’s and that’s why you cannot be distracted when doing something important. Good story
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Yep, exactly… Thank you, Donna!
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Ah, the dangers of not paying attention. I like the characters in this piece, they came across very strong and well.
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Thank you, Francesca! I’m glad you liked the characters.
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Oh dear, no wonder she’s feeling ill. Distractions are not a good thing in situations like that. Great story!
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Thank you!
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Maybe there is something left to salvage – the sinking marraige and the floating submarine. Nicely done. The open ending was a nice touch.
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Well, maybe there is… Thank you!
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Oooh… love a story that leaves the ending to the imagination! Definitely demonstrates how devastating distractions can be. Good character development in so few words!
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You comment made me smile! Thank you 🙂
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So many places you could go here. Very interesting build. I’m thinking she’s not always one of the boys.
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Thank you! The story seems to have taken on a life of its own…
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A lovely tale Sonya ~ You describe the danger in getting distracted very well ~
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Thank you, John! Glad it came across 🙂
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Sounds like a very short voyage. Nicely done.
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Thank you!
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You did well with that POV, Sonya. Those two better get their minds back on the sub or they’ll soon be in deadly trouble. Good story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne!
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Time to surface. Time to face her feelings, Time to talk things out….
Is time up?
I love this. It would be cool to see you come back to these two, and maybe give more of their story…
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Effective storytelling in only 100 words! I really liked this and would love to see more. 🙂
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