You’re so engrossed exploring outside the derelict Gothic mansion, you pay no attention to the weather. First you know of the storm is rain pelting down on you. You don’t mean to trespass but it’s an emergency. Your hair won’t survive this. Plenty of shelter in the mansion, and the door’s ajar. Lightning slashes the sky. You slip into the hall.
Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the murky light. But you sense evil before you see the remains. Fellow goth, judging from the accessories surrounding the bones.
A creature cackles behind you.
Thunder booms over your screams.
***
It’s Wednesday, time for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Go here to read all participants’ stories.
This is excellent! I could totally see and feel everything around me in these images. WOW!!
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Thank you, Joy! It’s such an evocative picture, so getting the detail was easy 🙂
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You certainly wrote an excellent story!
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I agree with Priceless Joy- really good use of imagery here, you can feel that storm gathering outside.. Nicely done!
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Thank you! I’m glad you felt the storm 🙂
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I like the way you chose goths to be the victims in this gothic story!
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Cheers, Jane!
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I was right there in that gothic mansion…. nice take on the prompt!
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Thank you, Cat!
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ooooh, evil!
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🙂
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I love a Goth -used to be one myself- and can’t help thinking they’d love to see themselves dead, in a mansion as the thunder claps overhead 🙂
Lovely story x
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I was always too punk to be a proper Goth. But I went to the Robert Smith school of make-up and hair styling 😀
Thank you!
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This creepy piece reminds me of a Choose Your Own Adventure interactive book. It brings back fond memories of creatively dying in a thousand ways lol
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Haha, creatively dying in a thousand ways, that’s brilliant. I think I might have to steal that 🙂
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Lol! If I ever see it in one of your writings, I’ll burst out laughing and remember this moment. 😀
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Holy hell! So much imagery packed into such a small story. Are you going to continue with this?
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Dunno yet if I’m going to continue it. It was quite tricky to jam it all into 100 words, so it’s possible.
Cheers, Francesca!
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Ohhh so spooky. Can feel that storm through the whole story.
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Thank you, Susan!
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If only she wasn’t so worried about her hair! Great story. I liked the whole storm/mansion idea too and the way you described the storm coming.
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Yes, indeed – there’s more important stuff than your hair-do. Mind you, I used to be a bit stupid about mine 😀
Thank you!
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Lots of suspense, Sonya, which you have created by cleverly correlating the build up of the storm with impending events. Well done. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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I like the description used to put the reader in the space. And you did it in so few words. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Great excitement…I felt I was there, but wanted to make a quick exit!
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Thank you!
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Hi Sonya, I just wanted to stop by and thank you for participating in these challenges. I sure hope you will continue! I love reading your stories. 🙂
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That’s great, PJ, I’m glad you enjoy the stories! Yes, I’ll certainly continue – the photos you’ve selected so far have led to intriguing stories. Thanks for hosting FFfAW 🙂
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You’re welcome! It has been my pleasure.
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You created two responses in me… 1st, I laughed at ‘their hair being unable to stand the storm’ and then the 2nd response was I got spooked.. I don’t know if you meant the former as a joke, but it worked well to create the other emotion… (I hope that makes sense)
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Yes, the thing about her hair was intentional. Glad it worked 🙂 – thank you!
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Good move, it did work! 🙂
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